The Talk
by AngelicKat445
Summary: Molly attempts to have 'The Talk' with her twin sons :


**So, this is for Kerantli's Sexual Education challenge :) It sucks, and really turned into more of a Fred/Angelina fic, but I kinda like it ;) ENJOY!**

* * *

><p>"Fred, George; may I have a word?"<p>

The fifteen-year-old twins looked up from the mountain of dishes lying before them. Their hands were donning yellow latex gloves, soapy sponges clutched between their fingers. George immediately dropped a large casserole dish that was only half clean.

"What did we do?" he asked nervously. They might be known for their ability to withstand any punishment, but their mother terrified them. To death.

"Oh, nothing, nothing at all," she replied anxiously. "Um…no, you did nothing. It's about what you may do that I wish to speak to you about."

Her words confounded the brothers. The way she was wringing her small hands round and round didn't go pass their notice, nor did her tapping foot. They'd been her sons long enough to know that whatever she was going to speak to them about was not something she wanted to.

So they dropped their dishes and tossed their gloves on the counter, making suds fly about. She sighed gently, and waved her wand as they passed her, making the little bubbles disappear. She simply wished to make this oncoming conversation do the same.

"What's up, Mum?"

Molly remained standing, keeping her gaze fixed on her sons. They were quite a bit taller than she was, herself standing at five foot two and them each towering at six feet. But this did nothing to lower her fearsomeness.

"I wish to talk to you boys about something…very serious," she mumbled. She thanked her lucky stars that everyone else was out and about, so she wouldn't have to deal with awkward explanations if they heard her speaking.

"Something that will inevitably happen in the future," she continued. "That you may like, and probably will like, but should be aware of before it gets out of your control."

George drummed his fingers along the table anxiously. Fred tried to keep his gaze out the window. Both were immensely deep in thought. Something they'd enjoy, but needed to be aware of…

"Breaking Filch's rules?"

"No, it's -"

"Throwing dung at first years?"

"Not exactly -"

"Slapping Charlie's ass?"

"Do not use that language in my house!" By now, Molly was furiously frustrated and thoroughly annoyed that they wouldn't shut up and give her a moment to say the correct answer. "It's sex!"

This shut them up.

"Oh…ahh…" Fred's ears and neck were entirely red. The edges of his jaw were creeping with the same color.

"Shouldn't…y'know, _Dad _give us this talk?" George asked nervously. Molly shook her head, shoving some of her red messy red curls out of her face.

"No, I swore to myself that I would get his over with for each of my children," she concluded that matter, looking quite flustered, but slightly more confident than before. "Now, to begin, when a man and a woman love each other very much -"

"Oh, mother of Merlin," Fred muttered, turning his face away. Molly ignored him.

"- they may possibly decide to make love." George raised a hand.

"Um, may I interject?" Molly crossed her arms. "If I may, Mrs. Weasley, I would like to point out that in these modern times, sex doesn't simply happen during marriage, or when you're in love. It's a part of your everyday life."

"Half of our friends have shagged before," Fred continued for his brother. "And we know for a fact that even Percy's popped his cherry."

This got her attention. "Percy did _what_?" she hollered. They put their hands up in surrender.

"It wasn't just him," George murmured. "Bill and Charlie, too. Why, even good ole Freddie here's done the nasty."

Fred glared with every bit of hatred he could muster. "You loathsome arse," he spat. But Molly was too busy beginning to chastise her sons for their lack of propriety in sexual relations.

"I can't believe this!" she cried to the heavens. "My children, my flesh and blood, have been doing that which should only be done when you feel the person and time is right! You're fifteen, for Merlin's sake! Fred, this girl, whoever she is, she isn't the one you'll marry! She's a phase, and now that you've stained each other, it'll never leave!"

"I'll have you know," Fred cut over loudly, making his mother hush, "that Angelina is the girl I shall marry. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. It'll happen."

"This is unbelievable," Molly huffed. "I'm sick and tired of you two! I only wished to convene in a simple, quick chat about sexual health, but no! Now it's turned into a confessional! What else is there you haven't told me?"

"We know you and Dad got married after you got pregnant with Bill," George mumbled. Molly quickly smacked him upside the head. "Talk about the pot calling the kettle black."

"That's enough. It's completely different. I loved your father, and I still do -"

"So maybe I love Angelina!"

This, of course, brought Molly to a state of euphoria and near tears. She put both hands up to her mouth, looking astonished and perfectly happy. A squeal emitted as she hugged her son, who had risen in fury.

"Oh, my baby boy is in love!" she cried. Fred groaned.

"_Muuuuuum_, please! I'm fifteen!" Molly nodded, letting him go and wiping her tears with a dishrag.

"Yes, I know you are. That's why I wish to finish this conversation quickly. Alright?" The twins nodded. "Wonderful. So, if you ever have sex, use protection." And she scuffled along, cleaning her house.

The twins stared at each other in shock.

"Is that it?"

"I suppose so."

* * *

><p><strong>WOOOT! thoughts? Review, please!<strong>


End file.
